Thursday, March 29, 2012

Day 3 - Getting easier

Day 3 went better.   My boyfriend requested Shake & Bake pork chops.  I told him I'd do it, but it would be homemade "shake & bake."  I found a recipe to replicate S&B mix, and in my opinion, it came out great.  Ready for leftovers tonight!

I also finally remembered the Sweet Tooth Test:
Mix 1: 1
Mix 2: 6
Mix 3: 10 (nearly intolerable)
Mix 4: X (intolerable)
And the sugar hadn't even completely dissolved int he cups!

Here's what I ate:

Breakfast - bagel w/ cream cheese, orange juice (too much!), coffee w/ 1/2 packet sugar and splash whole milk

Lunch - salad made with mixed greens, tomatoes, carrots, cucumber, grapes, kidney beans, grilled chicken, feta cheese, with summer berry dressing, and a piece of sourdough bread, banana

Snack - almonds, latte

Dinner - a few pieces of cheese and crackers, Caesar salad, breaded pork chops with garlic mashed potatoes and corn, a few spoonfuls of vanilla bean ice cream

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Day 2 - still plugging along

Day 2 was okay...again until the evening.  I had a real dinner, but forgot to make veggies to go along with it.  Oops.  I do need to start incorporating more vegetables into my day.  But then after dinner, I had a little dessert.  Then I was satisfied.  Then I took out the container of pudding, and just ate the rest.  It was a 6 serving container.  Double oops!  But I did walk 1 mile from the office to the bus station.  It was too cold and windy to make the walk in the morning, so I just did it in the evening.

Oh, and I forgot to do the sweet tooth test, again!  Tonight, I promise!

Here's what I ate:

Breakfast: Greek yogurt with a spoonful of fruit preserves and a couple handfuls of Kashi Island Vanilla shredded wheat biscuits, banana, coffee with 1/2 packet sugar and splash of whole milk

Lunch: 1/2 ham & swiss sandwich on brioche, small spinach, artichoke, cheddar soup, fruit salad

Dinner:  started with 6 mozzarella balls and 4 olives, then: onion crusted honey mustard chicken, mac & cheese (homemade, but included "fake" cheese), way too much chocolate rice pudding

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Day 1 in Review

I committed to posting daily during this first week on the Mediterranean "diet."

Day 1 went okay.
Breakfast and lunch went well.   I also made sure to walk instead of taking the subway between the bus station and the office.  The problem was after work.  Mondays are tough because I work my day job in the city, go home for a super short amount of time, and then run off to my Mary Kay meeting.  Instead of having a proper dinner last night, I munched on some tortilla chips and then finished them off in the car.  So not French-like!  When I got home, I was totally not hungry, but by 11 o'clock I wanted food.  Not sure if it was legit hunger or what, but I ate instead of going to bed.  Oh well, it's a process.  And it's a new day!

So what did I eat? 
Breakfast - Greek yogurt with a touch of fruit preserves and Kashi shredded wheat biscuits, banana, coffee w/ 1/2 package sugar and some whole milk

Lunch - creamy tomato soup with pasta and meatballs (from local soup place - 90% certain this was made without faux food), slice of 7 grain bread, fruit salad

Snack 1 - tortilla chips with sour cream, 3 portions, from 6:45 to 7:15, 285 minutes since last meal

Snack 2 - 2 bowls of Kashi Island Vanilla shredded wheat biscuits with milk

Dr. Clower recommends gauging and monitoring your sweet tooth.  He touts that following the Mediterranean lifestyle will naturally diminish your sweet tooth as you cut out a lot of processed sugars.  Honestly, I have a huge sweet tooth and I find this hard to believe.  But I will play along just to see.  They way it works is you have 5 cups.  You fill each about 2/3 of the way with water.  Leave one just water, and into others mix in corn syrup or sugar: 1/2 Tbsp, 1 Tbsp, 2 Tbsp, and 3 Tbsp.  Then you take a sip of each, neutralizing the palette with plain water between each taste.  Record on a scale of 1-10 how sweet each cup is.   If a cup is intolerable, mark an X instead of a number.  He recommends doing this daily for the first week and weekly thereafter.  I, however, forgot to do it last night, so I will try this out tonight, Day 2, and update you all tomorrow.

Monday, March 26, 2012

Sick and Tired

One of the things we say in Mary Kay is "if you're sick and tired of being sick and tired, then you need to make a change."

I'm not sure why this hadn't clicked in my head regarding my weight loss and health until this weekend.  I am sick and tired of literally being sick and tired.  It's time to make a change.  Apparently all those earlier posts about losing it how you want to live it and living a life of congruence weren't enough to get me to change.  I "committed" to cutting back on/cutting out processed foods, I celebrated being binge free, I've even talked myself out of binges.  None of these things have stuck.

Yes, folks, that's right.  I am confessing to you that I have binged over the last month.  The exact number of times is unknown, but it is certainly more than once.  The most recent occurrence being just yesterday afternoon.  Not only have I been binging, but I have been having a torrid affair with all my local fast food joints.  Yesterday, I not only decided on Burger King for lunch (with both fries and onion rings to accompany my sandwich and unbelievably "medium" Coke), but then I decided I was still "hungry."  I think I wanted dessert, but having none in the house, I resorted to compiling some leftovers and chowing down.  Now, those leftovers would have been a great healthy meal at any other time, but immediately following fast food... unnecessary! 

So I ate myself into a coma, napped for a few hours until I forced myself to get up and make some business calls before Hamad showed up to make me dinner.   He made a fantastic dinner, but I was still so full from "lunch."  I ate it anyway.

I am completely over feeling sluggish and low on energy.  I'm completely over huffing and puffing after minimal movement.  I'm completely over saying I'm at my highest weight every, only to exceed that weight by another few pounds in the following weeks.  I'm experiencing health issues I've never experienced before, and I can only attribute it to my extra weight, my lack of self-control, and my raunchy trysts with fried "chicken" sandwiches and unnaturally large buckets of French fries.

I'm not treating my body the way I should.  I'm not loving my body the way I should.  I'm not loving myself the way I should.  But that all ends today.

I've previously mentioned reading The Fat Fallacy by Dr. Will Clower and how it changed my perspective on food.  I read his other book, The French Don't Diet Plan and have signed up for his PATH curriculum.  Both are intended to help you retrain your body and apply the Mediterranean lifestyle to a typical American life.  Though I signed up for the PATH curriculum a few weeks ago, I am declaring today Week 1, Day 1.

In short, the general principles are as follow:
  • Eat real food (or, Eat food, not food product.)
  • Eat small.  Mind your portions.
  • Eat slow.  Savor your food.
  • Stop eating when you are satisfied, even if there is food still on your plate.
  • Enjoy an ender at the end of your meal to signify the meal is over.
  • Only snack between meals when absolutely necessary.
  • Be more active in ways you enjoy.
  • Take time to de-stress.
I am committing to posting daily at least for the first week.  This first week will be tough as I retrain myself away from binging, away from fast food, and focus on healthy REAL foods.  

Here's my starting point:

Weight: 203.2
Bust: fullest point: 43, under arms: 36
Wasit: 34
Hips: 47
(Waist to Hip ratio: .72)
Neck: 12
Right Thigh: 27
BMI: 35.99 (Severely Obese - yikes!)

The pictures taken at a conference this weekend were the ones that made me "Oh my goodness! Do I really look like that?"  Once I find my USB cable, I shall upload one as a starting point... if I'm feeling particularly brave.

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Tinier Than an Ant

Remember that whole "am I good enough" thing? It's back. And likely the only thing keeping me from a binge tonight is that Hamad's coming over for dinner so I won't have privacy.

It started with an e-mail from a dude who used to do my job. Basically, it said that a particular process wasn't up to par and certain things are always done a certain way, but hadn't been in this case. But, as long as I've had access to this stuff (and I can see prior submissions) they weren't done that way. And now then I was questioning a) by ability and b) my sanity.

Fast forward a couple hours, and cue a separate e-mail from my boss. This one basically said that a process has broken down. It was basically the one process in which I was still confident.

Good bye, confidence. Hello, extreme insecurity.

I will not have an emotional binge. There is a reason I have a side business. There is a reason I'm trying to make it my full-time gig. This job is temporary. I need to remember that. But I also need to give it 100% while it lasts. Or at least 90%.

Or maybe I should become a barista until my business takes off...