Monday, November 19, 2012

One Week!

Well, this completes my first week of self-evaluations.  It was less painless than I was making it out to be.  So first, an evaluation of Sunday.  And then, some things I've learned over the past week.

Menu 11/18:
Breakfast - coffee (bad Stacey, but it was a lazy Sunday morning in bed)
Lunch - potato soup garnished with sour cream, a sprinkle of cheddar, and some crumbled bacon (really, garnished, not a ton mixed in)
On the road grazing another eggnog shake, more French fries (What part of 'occasional treat' don't I get?  It must be the 'occasional' part, because it seems I'm pretty good at the 'treat' part.)
More on the road grazing too many (delicious from Trader Joe's) brownie bites
Dinner - chicken cacciatore (with tons of veggies) over spaghetti, with some garlic bread, glass of wine

Real vs. Processed - I'm going with a 3.  It was about evenly between the real foods (lunch and dinner) and the crap (on the road).

Emotional Eating - Again, not identifying any specific emotions.  Maybe it was just a huge IDGAF, but I feel like there's some anxiety lying within me as well.

Overall Balance: 4.  I can't say it was perfect balance (3), because of the penchant for car snacking, but I didn't blow of my the dinner that was waiting in my crock pot and replace it with (even more) fast food like I so desperately wanted.

So what have I learned?

Eating in the car seems to be a MAJOR problem.  It's when I'm mostly likely to forget about what I truly want, a healthy body and balanced mind.  Sometimes, it's not even eating in the car, but just being in the car.  If I'm in the car, I have options.  I can stop at the grocery store to buy a pizza to eat all of it.  I can pull through the drive-thru and get a giant-sized "value" meal.

I think it is all (currently) boiling down to anxiety over my job. I'm not really happy.  I don't really enjoy it.  And the commute is making me a whiny bitch.  A friend recently said to me that she was sorry I was also dealing with the awful commute, but glad to have someone to commiserate with.

Can we take a look at that word?   



Are you seeing what I'm seeing?  I see misery in there.  And we all know the old saying, "Misery loves company."  Cliche?  Maybe.  But cliches become cliches because they're based in actual things that happen and have been observed.  Misery loves company so freaking much there's that they came up with a distinct word for that cliche: commiserate.  

So basically, when you combine my miserable commute with the fact that I'm enduring this commute for a job with which I'm completely unhappy and unsatisfied, what you're getting is a cranky, whiny person taking solace in food and the fact that at least others are miserable along with her.

Yikes!  Did I really just describe myself that way?  I did.  It's right there in black and white.  I don't know if anyone else would describe me that way.  Which means either I'm really good at hiding it and/or I'm only starting this conversion.  Either way, I need to reign it in.  Pronto!  

We know these two things:
  1. I'm unhappy with almost all aspects of my job
  2. I act out by eating, usually in the car

I'm so glad to have stumbled upon these things!  Because I can change them.  And I've been saying I wanted to make a job change and make my business a real, full-time, completely supports my lifestyle business instead of a hobby for quite some while.  It's countdown time.  I leave for a cruise April 11, 2013 (the day before my first 29th birthday).  I will not be returning to my corporate job when I return.  And while I'm traveling in my car, I will be listening to training and motivational CDs/mp3s designed to help train me to build my business.  Perhaps if I'm listening to those, reminding me that the work situation is only temporary, I can also ease the anxiety that puts my car in auto-pilot and sends me en route to the closest drive-through.

It's time to stop sharing misery and start sharing success, happiness, inspiration.

1 comment:

  1. YAY! I'm so excited for your goal! Leaving a shitty job is the most freeing thing in the world.