The Costs of Overeating

Sorry for the delay on this. Things were a little weird yesterday, but here it is!

In Chapter 2 of Overcoming Overeating: It's Not What You're Eating, It's What's Eating You, Lisa Morrone discusses the costs associated with overeating.  She goes into several of the costs, and goes in depth, but I'm outling here the ones that I found applied to me.

Loss of attractiveness/self-confidence
This is the first cost Ms. Morrone discusses, and it applied to me in so many ways.  I feel like I'm a fairly self-confident person.  I can make numerous lists about all the positive qualities about myself.  However, when it comes to my weight, I have just felt like a huge failure.  I no longer feel attractive.  I hate that my "fat" clothes no longer fit, because I'm at my all-time heaviest weight.  I have a diminished sex-drive, and it has not gone unnoticed.  I don't generally like the way that I look.  I finally gave in and bought new clothes, in a size I've never worn before.  I finally feel like "Well, okay, at least these are more flattering to my body."  Yet, at the same time, I'm disgusted that I had to buy a bigger size.

Health Costs

"Whether or not you want to look at it this way, the reality is that you are slowly committing suicide by remaining overweight.  The excessive food you put into your mouth is having a poisoning effect on the organs and systems in your body. Being obese decreases your life expectancy by 7 years." (pg. 34)

I'm not going to get into all the sciencey stuff regarding how being overweight/obese affects one's health in general.  I will, however, say that I have seen direct results with the last 10 or so pounds I've gained.  For one, I have trouble breathing when I walk up more than one flight of stairs.  I've noticed my ankles becoming swollen more often than usual.  Neither of these are acceptable to me.

The chapter also touches on things like heart disease, stroke, type 2 Diabetes, dementia, and degenerative diseases such as arthritis.  All of these run in my family, and I desperately want to diminish my risk of developing any of these.  It's suggested to go to the doctor for a full check-up and fasting bloodwork just to find out where you stand.  However, I routinely go for a physical, and just went this past July.  The only issue with my bloodwork was my iron, but I had just donated blood recently, so it wasn't even a major concern.  There were no other pressing issues that the doctor brought up, but I'm also not sure if it was before or after my 20 lb gain.  I do know my blood pressure is fine, as that was taken about a month ago.  It always takes months to schedule a physical with my doctor, so I'm not going to redo this again.  (Plus, I'm not sure my insurance would cover it since I had one 4 months ago.)  But I'm going to make sure to go through all of it in detail with my doctor when I go for a physical next summer.  And in another 8 months, I'll hopefully have lost quite a bit of this excess weight.

Loss of Self-Trust

This was not in the book, but it's something I've noticed in my self lately.  There have been a few times where I've come close to having an anxiety attack simply deciding on what to have for a meal.  I feel like I've distorted my thinking and I no longer really understand what is "okay" to have.  I really do believe in the concept of moderation and being able to enjoy treats every once in a while, or even have dessert daily, but I've lost the concept of moderation.  That muscle has completely atrophied from lack of use.  

I've heard plenty of times that trust has to be earned, especially when it has been broken before.  I never realized this could apply to your relationship with yourself, but this is definitely what has happened to me.  I spent the past two weeks working on making better decisions and completely shaky as to whether or not I was making good decisions.  However, after a few days of knowing I've made good decisions, I'm starting to earn back that trust in myself.  I'm hoping that if I focus on the things I'm doing right, rather than the fact I let myself down in the past, I can start trusting myself to continue to make good decisions.  I've started keeping an NSV Log to focus in on the things that are going right.